Sledding and other dodgy childhood pastimes

~“As soon as there is life, there is danger” ~
Ralph Waldo Emerson


Saturday a group of us spent a lovely evening sledding at Sugarhouse Park. We went at 9:00 at night, so the nearly full moon glistened on the new fallen ... ice. That's right. Ice. It had been a sunny day so the snow melted and then refroze. This meant we rocketed down the hill at breakneck speed and thumped over frozen bumps. Ouch. The rush was incredible, but after two runs I felt I had tempted the fates enough without breaking a limb. Was sledding always this dangerous? Is this really an afternoon fun activity? In that vein I introduce my first list. 7 products that may not actually be such a good idea for kids ...

Demographic Error OR Parent Fail!

1. GR8 TaT2 Maker by Spin Master Toys -- Get Ready to get inked! Features a realistic vibrating tattoo pen. Includes, safe, non toxic markers for a realistic tattoo, and 30 sticker tattoo stencils for realistic tattoos. Manufacturer recommended age: 6 years and up.

Good news -- when your 6-year old is playing tatoo parlor with his friends, the markers are completely safe and non toxic. I wonder if the same is true for their future prison tats?

2. The Gashlycrumb Tinies – A is for is for Amy who fell down the stairs. B is for Basil assaulted by bears …” And so begins this alphabet book that details the demise of 26 children in various creative ways. My personal favorite? “X is for Xerxes devoured by mice.” Although this is way cooler than eXtinct dinosaurs cop-out animal alphabet card I had as a kid…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0FIgiDwVk3A

3. Clue – Now, I love this game, not to mention the movie (Mrs. Peacock - in the library with the candlestick!) But is 3rd grade really the proper time for children to start role-playing bashing in skulls with a lead pipe or throttling others with a rope .…

4. Playmobil HazMat Team – Oh, no! Hazardous waste has managed to seep out of a barrel and onto the sidewalk! No need to worry, the Hazmat Crew has promptly arrived. This sidewalk is sure to be free of this hazardous substance in no time! Ages 4 & Up

"Mommy, what's hazardous waste?" Hmmm.




5. SixFinger -- The most amazing toy ever! With this amazing toy you can shoot cap bombs, secret bullets, message missiles, fragmentation bomb send an SOS, or write with the built-in ballpoint pen!

I actually don't even know what to say. Except, whatever you do, DON'T bring this toy on a plane. Its just a bad toy idea. Maybe the most amazingly bad toy idea ever.






6. Doctor Drill 'n Fill -- Mold! Drill! Fill! Includes electric drill.
Check those choppers - explore the joy of dental hygiene
with this hilarious playset! "Grow" tongue and mold teeth,
then use the electric drill and tools to fix cavities
and pull bad teeth.

See? Cavities and powerdrills are fun! For parents who really want their kid to be the next Orin Scrivello.



7. Lightning Reaction Extreme -- Who has the fastest reflexes? Lightning Reaction Extreme is two games in one. It combines the old favorite, where only the slowest gets shocked; plus the new "Extreme" version, where only the fastest finger is safe and all other players get shocked. It's winner takes all - are you up for the challenge? Requires three "AAA batteries," included.

Hope they follow this up with a “super fun lethal injection” kit … At least your kid can find out about his heart condition without having to go through wrestling tryouts.




So, my faithful blogees, what have I missed? What other disturbing toys have you encountered?